This was written for my aunt and uncle who received a phone call in September that has forever changed their lives.  It is a privaledge to bear this burden with then.  All my love - Robin

The Unimaginable

Just one phone call snatches your breath away

The words don’t make sense and the walls close in

You hit your knees to pray but what do you say?

To the God who gives…and takes away

Instead, your heart groans and pleads on your behalf

You never thought this could happen to you

You will never be the same

 

Time stands still as the news sinks in

Just  breathing becomes a struggle

Knowing the worst has already happened

You hold tightly to the roller coaster of hope

Once again you say AMEN but it doesn’t stop the pain

You never thought this could happen to you

You will never be the same

 

It feels like you’re watching from the outside

You can’t think beyond today

As you wipe your tears away

Waiting for God to step in and save the day

 “He won’t give you more than you can bear” is something you used to say

Now you know it couldn’t be further from the truth

You never thought this could happen to you

You will never be the same

 

Another sunrise, another sunset…the days wash over you

Heaven meets earth as God’s abundant love consumes you

His grace and mercy crash around you

His faithfulness comes new every morning

Your weakness becomes a platform for His strength

You never thought this could happen to you

You will never be the same

 

Everyone has a story to tell

This isn’t the road you planned

But one thing remains:

God’s love never fails

It never gives up

It never runs out on you

This is happening to you

You are forever changed

 

We are all just one phone call from being on our knees…

 10-22-13 RQB

Archives V

Posted Feb. 7, 2011

One of the great mysteries of the Beck family has been solved: Owen claims that he hatched from a coconut! I've been wondering where the smallest of the small ones came from...Or course, that's not exactly the memory I have of him entering the world!

And while I'm on the subject, the aforementioned youngling came home from school today and said: "Why do so many parents let their kids say the F-word?" I didn't know that it was possible for my heart rate to go anaerobic just standing in the kitchen staring at my child!  Naturally the biggest of the small ones was quick to extend his vast knowledge to his younger brother with:  "THAT'S not the F-word".  Thankfully, I was at a loss for words and didn't jump for the whole mountain-out-of-a-molehill experience and  Owen says: Why don't they just call them toots like we do?

That was a near miss! And could have gone south very quickly!

Holey Moley I love my children!

From the archives...IV "Man Points"

"Man Points"

Posted Feb 12, 2012 7:52pm

Hey there! We returned from a short vacation several weeks ago...refreshed, rejuvenated & recharged! I knew we were in for some fun when the smallest of the small ones asked if he had to pack his toothbrush - after informing him that there are some things that we do NOT leave home without, we were on our way!

Have you ever had one of those moments when your mate does something so incredibly ingenious, so creative, so perfect...that well...you feel like you must spend the rest of your waking moments trying to express your gratitude? That's right ladies! It's like how fine your man looks when he is unloading that dishwasher!! Ok, sorry...FOCUS! Here's the skinny: We were headed back into our hotel one evening - the boys are empty-handed (naturally) - and the matriarch of the family is saddled with the camera bag, cooler bag, left-overs, goody bags from the gift shop, purse & whatever other items that I simply cannot live without. The biggest of the small ones is leading the pack through the door, Tater scoots in after him before the door closes & there I am with all the gear - door shut in my face and not a spare pinky to get the portal open. I just stand there, look at Tracy and say: "Really?!". This lead to a discussion between Mama & Papa Bear about the vain attempts to teach our little baby bears manners - and if they will ever realize that there are others in the world besides them...

So the days of fun and vacational bliss zoom by and it's the morning of check out, the boys are restless - having packed their bags, so Tracy takes them for a walk on the beach while I gather together the other 39 bags of stuff (being a former girl scout isn't always what it's cracked up to be). When they returned from the beach, they not only had a load of shells to show off - but some news for Mom.

This was the first time I was introduced to the concept of Man Points. Tracy had a very lively talk about how to treat others, especially ladies. And since I'm the only lady in their life, I get to be the recipient of all sorts of goodness! This includes having my car door opened and closed for me, having the door held for me as I enter and exit buildings, having help toting in the groceries without threatening bodily harm, I no longer carry my chair to/from the van at the ballfield, the small ones offer to help carry whatever I am carring in my hands...
After every display of manners, the boys earn 1 Man Point - at the end of the day one of the small ones gets bragging rights for the day with the highest number of Man Points. And because my boys are fiercely competitive...the Queen of the house feels like royalty!

My man is a genius!!

The competion keeps them going , so the real test came the other day when it was just Owen and I headed to the store to buy a football. I pull into the parking lot and O hollers: "Mommy, stay in the car!". He jumps out, comes around and opens my car door, waiting for me to exit then closes it. My 7 year old did this all on his own! And when we returned to the car, same thing. I have to admit that I got a little misty.

Now, before you start thinking that we have it all together and will be nominated for the next parenting award, it's still a work in progress...Being the boys that they are, they fight over who is going to hold the door and who earns the point - which has led to them letting the door slam in others faces. So they have learned that what they earn can just as easily be taken away :).

.So, Micah looks at me several weeks ago and says:  "When are you going to take me to the eye doctor?".  Come again??  Why do you need to go to the eye doctor?  "I can't see".  Huhh!  And what do you know!  Blind as a bat!  Definitely not getting that parent of the year award now!

Much love - the Becks

 

From the archives...III

Bad choices = Alcohol

Posted Sep 24, 2010 1:20pm

I paused for maybe 10 seconds trying to decide if I should share this - and decided that it is just too funny not to!

Both of our boys are in school and with that comes the education of alcohol and drugs. Micah (our 3rd grader) doesn't really ask questions about the things he learns in school, I think he just waits on Owen to ask the crazy questions and then listens intently. So now Owen is learning all the "Just Say No" facts and soaking them up like a sponge. I guess they educate in general terms because we have had family discussions defining what alcohol is. I remember the evening I was going to use rubbing alcohol on Owen to remove a tattoo and he flipped out, thinking I was giving him drugs.

So as of this very moment, our boys have learned that alcohol consists of beer and wine. We're saving the hard liquor and mixed drinks education for middle school. We talk alot about cigarettes and what it does to your lungs and the patients we see at the cancer center. My children have been known to blurt out (very loudly - I might add) "Why is that man smoking when he knows it's not good for him? Doesn't he know what it will do to his lungs?". So as my children are sorting out all of the choices to be made in life...their wheels are turning.

At the ages of 9 and 6, it's just easier to tell them that ALL alcohol and drugs are bad for them, rather than try to have the "in moderation" talk... which leads to the stumbling block message...which leads to the conviction talk...so right now - it's ALL bad. That's our story and we're sticking to it! (until they get older)  So we have talked about how drinking too much alcohol keeps you from making good choices and you do things that aren't smart and get you in trouble. And just to hammer this point home, I pulled up Tim Hawkin's video of "I don't drink beer" on YouTube for a good laugh. They also LOVE his Chick-fil-a songs - but that's another story.

OK - so I told you all of that to finally get to the point. I was eating breakfast this morning with the boys and I asked Micah what the behavior in his GATE classroom was like. Did he have any cut-ups that had to be disciplined regularly? He said "no", that everyone was really pretty good. Well, the smallest of the small ones piped up and said that he has this one little boy in his class that is ALWAYS doing things to get in trouble. Owen leaned across the table to get closer to Micah and whispers loudly: "He drinks beer!". Say what? I asked Owen why he would say that...and he looked at me serious as a heart attack and says: "Well he must drink beer, because he is always making bad choices". Oh my goodness! Micah and I CRACKED UP! Out of the mouth of babes!

So in my children's eyes, bad choices = alcohol. Period.  I guess we need to increase our family discussions on grace...

Happy weekend!
the Becks

From the archives...II

Angel Oak

Posted Dec 28, 2010 4:58pm

I went for a walk the other day around the hospital just to get some fresh air and enjoy the sites of downtown. I was moseying along the sidewalk, chitchatting on the phone when I heard someone walking behind me - a kind of sketchy looking fellow in a trench coat was tailing me and spooked me just a tad. Because it was Christmas day, I was by myself and I know that everyone gets a little squirrelly during the holidays - I quickly crossed the street to throw off the weirdo (obviously you see who the squirrelly one is - I read way too many crime novels and watch more NCIS and Criminals Minds than is probably healthy) and stumbled upon a park with walking paths and hundred year old Angel Oak trees. There were benches under the trees, so I sat for a while. Under the dome of these massive trees, the LORD put this very literal image in my mind. Just as I was protected under those trees, with their branches touching the ground in a perfect circle around me...so is HIS love and care and protection and strength surrounding our family.

As I sat there taking it all in, I noticed that a small branch was broken and hanging down - so low in fact, that I had to walk around it. It was the only part of these tremendous trees that I could touch while I was standing directly beneath. It became clear to me that the broken branch is my choice...our choice. Will I reach out to the hand of God that is always extended to me and seek HIS refuge? Will I grab on and dare not let go until the blessings come? Will I seek shelter under HIS protection or live in worldly fear? The walls of the hospital can close in on you sometimes and Jesus gave me this very real sanctuary a few blocks from where Tracy is; a very literal reminder of HIS power and love.

Psalm 91:1-2
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, "My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."
Psalm 142:1-2
With my voice I cry out to the LORD;
with my voice I plead for mercy to the LORD.
I pour out my complaint before him;
I tell my trouble before him.
v.5
I cry to you, O LORD;
I say, "You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living."

From under the oak tree...hanging on!
Robin

 

From the archives...

2 squirrel tails and a partridge in a pear tree

Posted Jan 4, 2011 9:10pm

Happy New Year!
Our boys spent the last week of their Christmas vacation with my aunt and uncle in St. Matthews. This is the infamous Uncle Roger...the man...the legend...the same one who has his grandchildren call him "Chief". As most of you know, life in the country is a bit different than life in the city. I worried about .04 seconds how my 2 city boys would fare in the wide open spaces, where there are animals way more interesting than the 2 labs we have and you can randomly shoot things without any good reason. Owen cried the day they left to come back home...translated as: I had the time of my life and now need to sleep for 48hrs straight to make up for it!

Our boys are talkers, especially the smallest of the small ones. But strangely, they didn't and haven't dumped their week's worth of activities on me...yet. I'm sure they were sworn to secrecy during their initiation into The He-Man Woman Hater's Club. I haven't pushed it, the information is slowly leaking out...all I know is they came home with 2 squirrel tails, along with the meat (which was cooked on an open fire) from the 3 they killed. We are also the proud owners of the feet of a bird that I am pretty sure is illegal to kill.  Just what am I supposed to do with 2 squirrel tails and freshly severed feet in my house?    

So Owen and I were in the bathroom Monday morning brushing our teeth, when he looks at me and asks: How come when you spit on a hurt spot the spit makes it feels better? What? Who told you that? Uncle Roger said...
Do I really want to know everything they did during their time in the country?

RQB

No Pain No Gain

No Pain No Gain

Wow! It's been a while! It's nearly squirrel season which means that Iron Chef America will be filmed on location in our backyard in the next few months, secret ingredient: you guessed it....SQUIRREL! Last year the boys cooked their own dinner over the fire pit in the backyard...squirrel and marshmallows. I can definitely get used to the idea of them cooking for themselves, they said a little garlic salt and teriyaki sauce did the trick! The boys have me researching different recipes so that they can contribute a meal Thanksgiving week with the Beck family; they can't wait to see the look on two particular uncles faces when they dig in...can't get anymore organic than that!

So I joined a running group at the beginning of the year, not to learn how to run but to learn how to ENJOY running. Anything is better with friends, except a NASCAR race - found that out the hard way. Our group ran 2/3 times a week together, all focused on the common goal of doing well in our next race. Once we all settled into our paces, we naturally ended up running in pairs or small groups. This was nice because you always knew you could run alongside a friend and chit chat to take your mind off of that days assigned punishment. But there was this one day...where all 3 of my buddies couldn't be there so I knew I would be running solo - which was ok because I knew Michael Jackson would help me push through. :) Before I go on, I need to introduce you to our fearless leader...her name is Lucinda* (Lu for short), she is 10 years older than me and doesn't just run races, she WINS races. She quite literally can and will run circles around me; she used to inspire me until I figured out that I will never be able to compete with her. Now I just watch her with awe and admiration, completely convinced that she is in fact not human - but an unstoppable machine.

So back to the day with just me and Michael...our group met to do an "easy" 3 mile run - which sounded just perfect to me because I was worn out. When we do our runs, we all start out running together in a big group, then spread out as we settle into our paces - all meeting back at the finish line when we are done. So we start our run and I end up paired up with Lu, which is no big deal because I know at the 1/2 mile mark she is going to leave me in the dust - which I am perfectly ok with. That is, until she starts talking to me...and she's not commenting on the weather.

Now at the time, I had just finished Blackaby's study Experiencing God so I was very much in tuned to where God was working around me, and how I was to join Him in His work. I have shared bits and pieces of my life with folks at the Y if it gives me an opportunity to talk about how God has used it for good; Lu being one of those people. So as we are warming up that first 1/2 mile, Lu hits me with this very direct question: With everything you have been through in your life, what has been the one thing that got you through? Now, you might be thinking - what an easy opportunity to share what the Lord has done in my life, I mean - she just asked me straight out. Well yes, but it wasn't quite that simple - after all, we weren't sitting on my sofa enjoying a cup of decaf. No, we were running and if I was going to answer her question, it meant that I would be running with her, Speedy Gonzales! And frankly, I just didn't know if I had it in me that day. I remember having a brief conversation with God about whether or not it was absolutely necessary to answer her question at that precise time or if it could wait until later. His answer came quick: Buck up and kick it up a notch!

So I began sharing my story and knowing that at mile 1, she would be picking up her pace. When her watch signaled the first mile marker, sure enough she got faster - and so did I. As she was peppering me with questions, my mind was doing double time trying to figure out how to answer her using the least amount of words possible and breathe at the same time. I was holding my own, but I knew that at mile 2 Lu's pace would pretty much put me at almost a full sprint. I was dreading that 2nd beep, and when I heard it I knew that would probably be the hardest mile I would ever run in my life. A miracle happened that day...I somehow managed to answer all of Lu's questions, keep up with her, breathe, not puke and finish the "easy" 3 mile run. When her watch signaled that 3rd mile, I came to a screeching halt - yelling "That was 3!!!" declaring that we were done, that I was done. She flippantly said - "Oh... Was that 3 already?". I've got my hands on my knees, bent over on the sidewalk trying to convince my breakfast to stay with me while I'm gasping for air and dripping with sweat, while she is barely glistening and isn't even winded.

It dawns on me when I get home and out of the shower, as I lay like a limp noodle on the couch, that God had never asked me to do something that was physically taxing or physically painful for Him. God had taken me to a completely new and different place with Him that day. I never would have thought that I could have ever kept up with Lu on a run, but because I was obedient God gave me the ability to get it done. Was it hard? Yes! Did it hurt? Yes! Was it impossible? No! Will I ever run with Lu again? Absolutely NOT!! (unless God tells me to)  In my weakness, He is strong!

No pain, No gain,
Robin

*all names have not been changed, she needs to know how much I suffered!